Watch out this is going to be a long one…

I will start off with Elliot Updates.

I wanted to give a little insight into how I have been feeling about becoming a mom and all that entails. I started thinking about this last weekend when I was talking to some of my girlfriends about pregnancy and childbirth. One of them said that it all sound so awful. Why would anyone want to go through all that? Its really interesting to me how this whole motherhood journey begins. I spent roughly 6 months with uncontrollable heartburn. The kind that feels like acid bubbling up your throat. It made be cough and vomit a lot. My feet were swollen and I would get these excruciating cramps in my legs. Then, when I felt like I could not be any bigger, I gave birth. Actually, my delivery was really pretty easy. I don’t really have any complaints about that. Sure, the epidural hurt, but I would not have wanted to do it without it. So after the birth, they send you home with this baby who seemingly cries for no apparent reason, eats constantly and poops roughly 8 times a day. Sure, they sleep a lot! But only in 2 hour increments. So just when you have a chance to get into bed and doze off…. its time to feed again. Brian and I were laughing the other day about this exact scenario. After I would feed Elliot and put him in bed, I would get in bed and Brian and I would snuggle together on the far side of our king sized bed. Cowering with fear that the next whimper or sound he would require us to get up again.  That’s all in the first few weeks. Then, around 2 months, they start spitting up. ALL THE TIME! I really have become use to the smell of spit-up. I am not sure I have gone a single day without having spit up on me somewhere. Sometimes it’s a direct shot to my shirt. Other days, I have no choice but to wipe it on my pants… I know… gross. But that is my life. All of this sounds really awful. Why would people want to put themselves through all that? As I type this, I think back at the last 7 months with only joyful and fulfilling memories. I don’t even remember what heartburn felt like. I cant remember what a contraction felt like. I can only vaguely remember the cloudy feeling of sleep deprivation. The memories that are strongest are the happy ones. The first moment I held Elliot in my arms and he looked up at me. The first time he smiled. His first laugh. I love that I am able to see his personality develop. I LOVE (despite the fact that I am so behind at work) that Elliot loves to snuggle with me all day. He really is happiest when I am holding him. I love when I give him his bottle before bed and he stares at me until he falls asleep. I love that he tries to avoid falling asleep by putting his little hand in my mouth so I will pretend to bite him. I guess my point is that for each of the difficult aspects to motherhood, there are a million amazing experiences. I have a bond with Elliot that no one else will ever have. I am his only mommy! I may have a lot of jobs and responsibilities in my life, but being Elliot’s mom is the one I am most proud of. 

I know lots of people who are pregnant right now or who have just had babies. I just know they will all love being moms as much as I do.

I have some other things I want to blog about but I am really tired.

Goodnight!